To say recent months have been odd for us all is an understatement…thoughts and actions of an ordinary man in lockdown
6.34am
Eyes open. Light coming into the bedroom. Too early. Want to doze, but no good sinking into that habit…doze anyway.
7.58am
Sun shining. It’s like paradise out there, but how long will it last? It’s the UK, so not long. Time to get up.
8.04am
Hot shower (2 minutes), followed by a cold one (20 seconds).
8.17am
Trump’s on the news. Really? He’s not usually one for the spotlight. Hang on…yes he is. Is that a toupee? Why does he always wear his tie down to his knees? Never mind politics; Trump should sort himself out. So many questions.
8.19am
Today’s going to be proactive – must have slow-release morning meal. Why don’t you just call it “breakfast” like everyone else? Brain not working at full capacity just yet.
8.20am
Today will be proactive, but which day is it? It’s not the weekend, is it? Tuesday, Wednesday? Lockdown causing disruption. How long will it last, and when are the pubs going to reopen? July 4th, according to the government. Feel better.
8.22am
Look at Models Direct website for a great blog published this year about breakfasts. That’ll do. Decide to have porridge with banana (sliced for easy consumption – there you go, brain starting to click into gear).
8.46am
Good breakfast call – feel revitalised already. Make a strong coffee just to make sure.
8.53am
Time to dress as if exposing oneself to the public (no, not in that way). Decide on positive clothes: tracksuit bottoms and bright-coloured sports T-shirt to represent upbeat mood.
9.01am
Clothing choice works. Work from home – most people in the same boat. Solid two hours at the laptop, working and checking emails. Friends contact me to ask when lockdown will end. I’m not the Oracle of Delphi! Tell them to keep listening to the news and believing most of it.
11.12am
Decide to go for a run, as it’s been the best weather for ages. Don’t overdo it – just a 15 minute gentle jog to keep the body and spirit in check.
11.31am
Need another shower, but decline. Work and watch the news again. Trump’s hair is a true enigma. It’s like a golden cockatoo on a hovercraft. It’s just so…out there, about six inches from his head.
1.34pm
Lunch consists of more healthy goodness: last night’s reheated pasta. Need to burn that off this evening.
2.17pm
Alexa: “When does the Oracle of Delphi predict the UK lockdown will end?” No answer – I don’t have Alexa.
2.21pm
Settle down for 100 sit-ups, feeling pasta heavy in my stomach.
2.28pm
Read last two chapters of The Rum Diary by Hunter S. Thompson. Reminds me, could do with a drink, but too early.
3.01 – 5.57 pm
Watch quiz shows on TV. No contestants win. Mind you, one was asked to name a character from The Jungle Book. She wasn’t shocked that Kipling never created a character called “Big Black Mummy Panther.” At least she made a stab at it…
6.03pm
More sit-ups. Haven’t done so much exercise since being forced to at school. Lockdown will either make folk ultra-fit, overweight, alcoholic, or possibly two of the three.
6.11pm
Work, feeling good, alive.
7.31pm
Another shower. Keep my original clothes on, but change socks and boxer shorts. Have to have some standards…
7.58pm
Make dinner – or “tea” as Northerners call it. Chicken bake with garlic, peppers, chilli and broccoli.
8.51pm
Rate the meal a flattering 7/10. Make note to have tea earlier in the future.
9.04pm
Watch TV, wondering if Boris will announce that all’s well in the world and that is was all one big hoax. Doubtful, but keep positive. Things will improve. We’re through the worst of it, aren’t we?
10.07pm
Retire to bed, pondering that last thought. Tomorrow is – by definition – another day.
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